went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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