So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
