No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
So vagazzling was a success
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
