I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
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As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
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best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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