Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
