Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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