dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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