Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Randomize
