I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
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