While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Randomize
