Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
