please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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