actually, I'm a sock model
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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