I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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