lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize