I think I won the penis lottery.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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