i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
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