we have pet lesbian snakes
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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