ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
