I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
