Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
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