id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize