It was confusing and full of hummus
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Sorry about my life...
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
