Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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