Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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