"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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