Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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