does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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