Midget sex pt 2 tonight
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
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