3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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