Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
She even gives head with a lisp.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
