Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
