youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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