We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
