As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
pray to the hookup gods
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
