i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I came so hard my ears popped.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
