I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Randomize