it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
