So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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