So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Randomize
