Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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