def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
