do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
