my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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