I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
29 Unspoken Rules Of “Bro Code”
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.