I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
she woke up with a sticky ear
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
21 MILFs That Made The Boys Crazy
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.