I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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