Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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