She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
