if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
