HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Randomize
