he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
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we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
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Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits