Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I'm skeptical of all drag queens.

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(832): I'm skeptical of all drag queens. http://tfl.nu/szh0

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(702): View more from Nevada

Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.

(1-702): View more from Nevada

Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.

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(702): Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out. (1-702): Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh. http://tfl.nu/n3th

Replies (12) Good night (1730) Bad night (881)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

happy early fathers day!!!

(829): View more from Dominican Rep

im not a father

(843): View more from South Carolina

about that...

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(843): happy early fathers day!!! (829): im not a father (843): about that... http://tfl.nu/tk4z

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(551): View more from New Jersey

Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead

(201): View more from New Jersey

NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"

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(551): Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead (201): NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it" http://tfl.nu/4pzt

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(860): View more from Connecticut

i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow

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(860): i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow http://tfl.nu/61vx

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(919): View more from North Carolina

my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.

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(919): my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now. http://tfl.nu/dua1

Replies (19) Good night (4153) Bad night (1978)
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(631): View more from New York

Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.

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(631): Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick. http://tfl.nu/pj3f

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(703): View more from Virginia

I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"

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(703): I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila" http://tfl.nu/s09r

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(607): View more from New York

My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.

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(607): My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons. http://tfl.nu/oech

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(352): View more from Florida

This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode

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(352): This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode http://tfl.nu/n1t3

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.

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(814): I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment. http://tfl.nu/b3si

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(517): View more from Michigan

I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING

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(517): I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING http://tfl.nu/fw3v

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(417): View more from Missouri

All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.

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(417): All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door. http://tfl.nu/d7kd

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(423): View more from Tennessee

This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?

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(423): This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean? http://tfl.nu/py5a

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(819): View more from Quebec

I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.

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(819): I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis. http://tfl.nu/mdgl

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