Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though