dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.