your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Sorry my hands just texted you
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going