walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.