Dude i fell asleep inside of her
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
he fucked my hip out of place.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.