I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Did I show you my penis last night?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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