i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
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"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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