distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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