Tell her she can't have a vagina
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize