I smell stomach acid.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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