Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
It's never too late to be topless.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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