in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
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