he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
