I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
You're like the curious george of whores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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