Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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