drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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