I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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