I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Someone signed my nipple.
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