her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
